Are you one of those people who has always seemed over-sensitive to others?
You feel your emotions deeply, and even seem to feel other people’s emotions!
You feel drained when you’ve been around people for too long, and maybe even sometimes struggle to be in certain places or around certain people at all
I remember a man getting on the bus once and the closer he got, the more my head started spinning. I felt deeply uncomfortable, dizzy and nauseous while he was near me, and the minute he got off the bus, the feeling disappeared
How could that be?
How could the presence of a stranger affect me so noticeably?
I was always told and so always believed that I was simply ‘too’ sensitive
That was until I read about Empaths
I’m not a fan of labels, but when I related so closely to the definition of an Empath and realised I was one, things started to make so much more sense!
It turns out that there are some among us who are more sensitive to other people’s energies and emotions.
Those of us who were ‘sensitive’ children (who were maybe even laughed at for that)
Those of us who feel our emotions deeply and find ourselves moved to tears at the mildest stories on the news.
Those of us who need time alone to recharge after being around people for too long
If you resonate with any of this, please know that you are not crazy, you are not a weirdo and you are not ‘too sensitive’!
You are an empath - as in you are empathetic / deeply connected to others emotions and emotional needs because you are deeply connected to your own
This can be both a gift and a curse
A gift because emotions are your guidance system - here to help guide you along your path by signaling that things, situations, people feel good or bad:
If things naturally feel easy and fun, it is an indication to do more of that
If they feel like constant hard work, like an uphill struggle and keep you feeling low - that might indicate it’s time to shift your perspective or try something different
It’s a bit like the game of ‘hunt the thimble’ we used to play as children:
- feeling good = hotter which means you are getting closer
- Feeling bad = colder which means you are further away.
It’s pretty simple when you think of it like that.
Once you understand that, you realise that to be in touch with your emotions gives you an advantage in this world
It also means you sense others emotions and energies more strongly, which can be a good thing
It means we are able to connect with others easily and to give real emotional support - but this also leads us to the disadvantage of anxiety inducing, spiralling negative thoughts and people pleasing tendencies - to our own detriment!
We tend to take on the responsibility for making others feel happy and good
We put their needs first, because if they feel better, we feel better
But giving away our energy like that can leave us depleted and drained
Which is when we may want to withdraw and be on our own, we might feel down and then wish that others could lift us up in the way we do for them (but we find it hard to ask, because wouldn’t want to put on anyone!) and besides, once we hit that point, we just need to be left alone - something we can find hard to communicate for fear of upsetting people
For this reason, deeply empathetic people are more prone to burnout and stress - because they are constantly putting others needs before their own, or worrying about others even when they are apart
But, take comfort in the fact that there is another way!
It can feel selfish at first, but if you want to feel less anxious and exhausted and want to know how to cope with feeling so drained so often, read on
Think of yourself like a battery.
To put an empty battery in a clock means the clock does not work.
Just like putting yourself out there on empty only serves to make you feel ineffective as a human being!
And as someone who is deeply affected by those around you - rather than charging you up, heavy energies (or simply too many at once) serve only to drain your stores more quickly
So the key is to always ensure you are charged up and protected before going out into the world and being around people
And that means shifting self-care to the top of your priority list
Caring for yourself before others is not selfish:
So do whatever you need to make yourself feel good, strong, nourished and energised THEN think about being with others.
You’ll be surprised how much easier it feels when you have reverse engineered your natural programming in this way. It might not be easy at first to carve out time just for you, but remember - it is simply essential self-preservation, like eating, or sleeping, you time is your time to replenish your energy stores and just think how much calmer, brighter, shinier you can be in the world and how much more present you can be with all those you want to help, when you are battery is brimming full with pure, positive energy!